Interview with Brad Green


Note: Some editing has taken place, mostly fixing typos and omitting instances where I state the obvious.

KJ I was thinking I should interview you over instant messager, does that work?

Brad yeah sure does

KJ excellent

Brad ahh cool!!!

KJ I'm trying to make it really gossipy, like from Seventeen Magazine or something. So yeah.

KJ Anyway, yeah, first question: so I hear you got promoted. How do you feel about that?

Brad ummm getting promoted is gonna be cool as hell, its gonna be a fun summer

KJ What's next on the agenda?

Brad getting laid, on the way home from work today there was this girl that was following me. i swear. but since i was in my car and she was on the freeway is was hard to get her number

Brad yeah she looked pretty good too

KJ How would you describe yourself?

Brad uhh i'd say i am mostly outgoing but theres a side to me that most people dont see where i just like to be by myself

KJ What's your favorite song, and why?

Brad dude theres a lot to choose from, right now its "Depths You've Fallen" by Cryptopsy. I am obsessed with the drumming on the whole CD though, like I'll listen to the song but I'll try to pick out the drum patterns and shit like that because they are so damn good.

KJ Whenever you talk about music, I always think "I should download that" But I never do.

Brad you should, its good stuff

KJ Perhaps I will

KJ In "Reasons To Have Sex With Brad Green" you said "Give me sex. I want some sex. I don't want to have to work for it, I just want sex". What kind of reaction did that get?

Brad umm obviously it hasnt worked because i STILL havnt gotten any sex. i dont try though, i think if i tried then i could get some

KJ If you did try, how would you go about trying?

Brad I would probably go up to a girl, slap her ass, tell her to bend over and she best be tight!

KJ That's an excellent tactic.

Brad oh yeah, but i dont have the guts to pull it off

KJ Probably for the best. If you tried it on the wrong woman you'd be in jail for quite a while.

Brad yeah, that would suck a nut

KJ yeah

Brad more questions!

KJ Right away!

Brad yes!

KJ On to the lovelife portion: Are there any special ladies in your life right now?

Brad not really, theres girls that I would like to ask out but I puss out everytime I see them. I suck ass when it comes to that kinda stuff

KJ What do you look for in a girl?

Brad I like girls with dark hair and dark or green eyes. Blond chicks are hot but I really like the darker looking girls. As far as personality goes I dont like quiet girls or stuck up girls that expect guys to pay for everything. Oh yeah, and no fat chicks

KJ What kind of girls are attracted to you?

Brad Its not really a certian type, but they need to have a sense of humor. I can't deal with a girl that doesnt laugh at my jokes or gets all offended at shit that I saw

Brad say

KJ cool. That's all the questions I was able to think up in advance.

Brad alrighty, I am gonna go to bed now anyways

Brad what are you gonna do with the interview

KJ I'm just going to put it up and say something about "In honor of Brad Week, we have an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with Brad himself!" or something.

Brad cool!

Brad when are you gonna do it?

KJ Tonight or tomorrow.

This interview was done on Saturday, May 4, or possibly Friday, May 3, 2002. I got it online on May 6.